Yet another said, “I will follow you, Lord, but let me first say farewell to those at my home.” Jesus said to him, “No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God.” (Luke 9:61-62 ESV)
One of the greatest challenges for every Christian is to follow Jesus, and to pursue His purpose for our lives without looking back. Imagine trying to drive a car on the highway while looking in only the rearview mirror; you’d be challenged to stay in your lane and avoid a collision. Jesus’ illustration of plowing a field would have made perfect sense to his listeners living in an agricultural context. If a farmer did not focus on what is ahead but was distracted by what was behind or on the periphery, it would be impossible to plow in a straight line. The ox and plow would certainly veer off course.
Both positive and negative aspects of our lives have the potential to become distractions:
Past successes
Past failures
Internal insecurities
External circumstances
Comfort & security
Relationships
Career
It’s interesting that the man who wants to follow Jesus is distracted by something that we would consider a positive: his home and family. Jesus is letting us know that even something that’s a huge blessing in our lives can become a distraction if it becomes more important than pursuing Jesus and His purpose. As we continue to seek Jesus, we must constantly be aware of the potential distractions in our rear view mirror of life. There can often be a tendency to look back and remember the good, instead of the great in front of you with Jesus.
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. (1 Corinthians 13:4-8 ESV)
Can you come up with a definition for love (that accurately describes what love is) in two or three sentences?
It’s not an easy task. No matter how we define love, our definition always seems to be lacking. Trying to define love can be like describing chocolate to a tribesman in sub-Saharan Africa who has never heard of nor tasted chocolate before. We may have trouble defining it, explaining it, and even finding it, but we know deep down inside that we need it.
In 1 Corinthians 13, the Apostle Paul wrote one of the most famous descriptions of love. Notice that he does not give a dictionary definition but instead a description of love displayed. The love Paul describes values:
Giving over getting
Commitment over feelings
The long haul over the short term
The scripture is clear. You can see this love displayed in patience, kindness, humility, forgiveness, integrity, and ongoing perseverance. This kind of love survives and stands the tests of time and tribulations.
Good Morning! Welcome to the Wednesday Midweek Oasis Bible Study. This is Shalom.Dodi on mic and I will be hosting today. I want to THANK Sunsets so much for being so willing to fill in and doing such a GOOD job. I am very GLAD to be back today.
As we gather may Your Spirit work within us
As we gather may we glorify Your Name
Knowing well that as our hearts begin to worship
We'll be blessed because we came
We'll be blessed because we came
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases
His mercies never come to an end
They are new every morning, new every morning
Great is Thy faithfulness, O Lord
Great is Thy faithfulness
We had been talking about a topic that is dear to my heart. If we want to trust God, and we all do, we need to understand Who God is. We also need to be able to or enabled to come “as a Child”, which means in deep abiding trust. Trusting that we WILL be WELCOMED and that our needs WILL be met. God is so worthy of our trust. His desire is to meet all our needs. In fact, God created us with certain needs knowing that Jesus would be the only one who could PERFECTLY meet those needs. We NEED to be loved, we NEED a sense of belonging, we NEED to matter, we also NEED to have a purpose in life.
As children we knew innately we needed to be loved, to belong, to have our needs met emotionally, physically and spiritually. But since we ALL had imperfect parents, that did not happen.
One of our pivotal verses is Matthew 18:2-4 And He called a child to Himself and set him before them, and said, "Truly I say to you, unless you are converted and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven. "Whoever then humbles himself as this child, he is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.
We were discussing the fact that our “Love Bonding” can be based on fear or on true love. We noticed that we love God BECAUSE He first LOVED us and that His love is pure, holy and perfect. 1 John 4:19 We love because he first loved us.
I want to review a little since it has been so long…
REVIEW: God created us in love, from His heart of love to BE loved and to love others. We sometimes do not understand the pure holiness of God’s PERFECT love for us. That can be as a result of childhood wounds or even things that happened to us as recently as yesterday. But God desires us to come to him with fearless hope because He LOVES us. We can come when we are feeling good or when we are feeling bad. We can even come, without fear, when we sin.
Isn’t that amazing?
Whatever is “normal” to us is how we perceive the world and God and ourselves and others. But we do NOT need to remain stuck. In His Word, God has given us a picture of Who He Is and of his LOVE. We learn there how to give and receive love.
I am quoting from “The Life Model: Living from the Heart Jesus Gave You,” Shepherd’s House.
Love bonds – are based on love and characterized by truth, closeness, intimacy, joy, peace, perseverance and authentic giving.
Fear bonds – are based on fear and characterized by pain, humiliation, desperation, shame, guilt, and/or fear of rejection, abandonment, or detrimental consequences.
Love bonds – are desire drive (I bond with you because I want to be with you)
Fear bonds – are avoidance driven. (I bond with you because I want to avoid negative feelings or pain)
Love bonds – grow stronger both when we move closer and when we move apart. (When we move closer, I get to know you better. When we move further apart I am still blessed by memories)
Fear bonds – only grow stronger by moving closer or by moving apart. (The closer we get the scarier it gets, so I have to avoid the closeness or the further apart, the scarier it gets, so I have to manipulate closeness)
In love, we can share both positive and negative feelings. The bond is strengthened by this truthful sharing.
In fear, we can’t share both positive and negative feelings. The bond is strengthened by 1) avoiding negative or positive feelings, or 2) by seeking only negative feelings or seeking only positive feelings.
Love bonds – continually grow and mature people, equipping them to find their hearts.
Fear bonds – increasingly restrict and stunt growth, keeping people from finding their hearts.
I believe that last time, on July 24 (which I forgot to post unless it was cancelled and I don’t remember), we began reading an article by Barbara who is a counselor. I am not going to repost the actual verses but I am going to share the statement and the reference.
Love: His love surpasses all knowledge. Ephesians 3:17-19…
His love is characterized by Intimacy, closeness: Jesus prayed that “they may be One with the Father as I am One with Him.” John 17: 20-23
Perseverance: He is long suffering, not willing that any should perish. Matthew 18:14
Truth: His Word is Truth and He will sanctify us in His Truth. He is not a man that He would lie. John 17:17
Giving: The Shepherd would lay down His life for His sheep. John 10:11, Ask and you shall receive. Matthew 7:11
Desire: I have loved you with an everlasting love. Come away my Beloved
Jeremiah31:3;
Growing in closeness: Nothing can separate us from the Love of Elohim/God, which is in Jesus our Messiah. Romans 8:39
Both positive and negative can be shared:
In all things, pray without ceasing. Ephesians 6: 18
Both benefit: He rejoices over us with singing. He is anticipating the Restoration of all things with joy. Zephaniah 3:17-20
Now we are picking up with new material…
God’s love is:
Covenant Love: He has sworn it by Himself. He cut the covenant with Abraham, and by faith, with us, His heirs. In the knowledge of His love and the exhortation of His Law and Ruach/Spirit, we can rest securely confident that He will work all things together for our good and that He is able to accomplish His plans in us. Romans 8: 28 28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.
Absence of Fear: Fear is not in Him, because He is love. 1 John 4:16-18 16 So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. 17 By this is love perfected with us, so that we may have confidence for the day of judgment, because as he is so also are we in this world. 18 There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. (In a sense, we come back around to the beginning, which is His love)
Jut as someone lacking in maturity or joy may be unable to perceive the joy or love coming from another person, so is it true that we are not always capable of fully perceiving, let alone fully receiving His love for us.
Dodi note: Remember our perception is our reality until we learn a truer reality. Our perception is based on past events, often wounds received or needs not met as a child.
It has been common wisdom for many years that the quality of the child’s relationship with their parent, generally with the father, has a great bearing on the individual’s ability to enter into relationship with God, our Elohim, the Creator Father.
In the concepts of love and fear bonds and the research behind them we can see the “backstage” view of how it all actually works together.
If we are predominantly walking in a love bonded relationship with God through our Messiah, Jesus, we will generally be able to hold on to the knowledge of these attributes as listed above.
We will be able to act like ourselves, no matter what the stressors might be, because we will know that we are loved.
Dodi note: Conversely if we do not “act like ourselves” which means we are not able to “take our anger, hurt etc “to the cross” before we respond, then we simply have an arrow pointing to a NEED for healing in some area of our heart. In other words, that is a “trigger” and not to condemn us. Sometimes we will lash out, other times we will withdraw. We may blame ourselves or others, etc.
What we do NOT do is remember in that moment/situation WHO God is and our POSITION as HIS beloved. Does this make sense?
We can stop here if we need to.
We will also know that we cannot fully comprehend the depth of His love while we are yet in this finite body but we will nevertheless be confident.
Dodi note: We will know that we ARE loved, even if we don’t feel loved and even if the entire world feels against us.
We will find ourselves hungering and thirsting for His Word because His Word is Truth and we will want to please our Beloved. We won’t find Bible study to be a burden but a delight.
Dodi note: I think we all get A+ on this because we ARE here by choice. There are many other things we could have chosen to be doing on a Wed. morning.
We will find ourselves praying about all things, large and small, but praying out of that confidence and assurance of our relationship with Him.
We will be very aware of the price He paid for us, but rather than dwell on the tragedy of it, we will exult in the victory of it.
We will be joyful or grieve and mourn in due season as circumstances may toss and turn but underneath it we will have the sense of peace and confidence that can only come from Him.
Dodi note: This is such a freeing concept. It was for me. Guess what? It is PERFECTLY OK to be sad, if there is a sad thing going on. It is PERFECTLY OK to have anger if injustice is being done to us. HOWEVER we will also be able to fully feel the sad or anger or whatever and “own” it. We wont need to deny it, stuff it or bury it, but we WILL learn to go to GOD in the midst of it and find hope and comfort. AND we will ALSO be enabled to experience JOY even during sad moments. This is way way way cool and very liberating. We can be exactly as we are and not get stuck there. JUST LIKE CHILDREN naturally do. When a little child is upset, there is absolutely NO DOUBT about it. However they are also able to receive comfort and the very next moment be laughing in PURE unrestrained JOY. That is PART of what I believe Jesus meant when he said for us to come “as/like” a child.
NEAT????
Any discussion? I think we will stop here. I have bad news and good news. Next Wed I will be babysitting and Sunsets has a wonderful lesson already planned for us.
What I want us to do, between now and two weeks from now, is to allow ourselves to really FEEL the SORROW or the SAD if/when it comes and to talk to God and say… out loud if you can… Jesus I am so sad, really sad. Or Jesus I simply can’t do this anymore. Personally I have to be alone in the car… ha ha yes usually driving and something about saying it out loud is so freeing. The tears well up, but since we are going to be telling JESUS we will know that we are SAFE and that He cares. Try it and send me a note to let me know what happens. For me often after that, I am really free from it. It is still there, the situation usually does not change, but I can go on after being “heard”. And free to think about something else.
But I have this against you, that you have abandoned the love you had at first. (Revelation 2:4 ESV)
When I first came to Christ, I was totally in love with him. I didn’t think about much else besides him and his word. After about a year, though, I lost my first love. I wanted Christ, but it was Christ, plus. At first, it was Christ, plus a husband. Then Christ, plus a family. It went on to be Christ, plus a house, then Christ plus a ministry.
During those years of Christ plus, I was never completely happy. I was looking to those other things for my ultimate fulfillment, and yet they fell short. I didn’t realize that they were supposed to fall short. Nothing can ever meet the deepest needs of my heart except Christ.
It has taken many years for the Lord to bring me back. Now, Christ is the first love of my life. I do have a husband, family, house and ministry but they do not compete for my ultimate affection. That alone is reserved for Christ.
Prayer for today: Lord Jesus Christ, I ask your forgiveness for placing my affection on other things than you. Help me to love you more than anyone or anything. Amen. -- Short Daily Devotions
